Aug 10, 2010

My Hero

Mr President, I know that you’re very focused on rebuilding Zambia and have little time to respond to your many critics. Allow me to help…

For all the people complaining about your numerous trips abroad, do they not understand the need for a nation’s leader to look presidential? After all, how more presidential does it get than cutting ribbons and exchanging kisses with first ladies? That is nation building!

The more persistent ones may ask why such activities are not delegated to the foreign minister or diplomats stationed in the countries you are visiting. The answer is simple, really – those diplomats including the ambassadors are incapable of assuming such important duties; such things cannot be delegated. Their sole purpose is to field phone calls and visits from those cheeky Zambians living abroad who are constantly whining about lost passports and other petty issues like investment opportunities back home.

With regards to the constant criticism about medical treatment abroad - Sir, when you are ill or need a yearly physical it is your entitlement to seek medical attention abroad at the taxpayers’ expense. Don’t these idiots realise that Morningside is actually a Zambian clinic based in Johannesburg? Now of course the privilege is only extended to high ranking government officials, MPs and their immediate kin. Others will have to come up with their own financing, or better yet use the facilities available locally. Politicians such as yourself are a protected class, and cannot be subjected to the shambolic conditions currently found in our hospitals. If this is not already enshrined in the constitution it should be, so we all know where we stand.

You should also be commended for your impeccable selection of ministers and deputy ministers. I do not think Zambia has seen a group more eager to grandstand and outdo themselves with accolades about your non-work since the early days of our independence. This is a true sign of leadership, when your followers will follow without question frothing at the mouth, and tamping down any hint of dissention in their ranks and among the general population. You’ve learned well from the masters who came before you!

Furthermore, I applaud you for not paying attention to all the silly newspaper editorials, NGOs and others always making noise about these foreign animals called corruption and nepotism. This is just the cost of doing business in our country, and if one cannot help advance unqualified family members, who will? Is not the African way to take care of family first, and others last? It is unreasonable to demand that you turn your back on traditional ways and adopt this nonsense they call transparency.

History will judge you kindly, and your legacy will live in infamy. You’re a true son of Africa…

Rupiah wamuyayaya (Rupiah forever)
Kumulu Lesa, Panshi Rupiah (God in Heaven, Rupiah on Earth)


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